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Frustrations

So basically everyone at my school is going for their license test this week or next. Sam’s going on Friday. He’s SIX months younger than me and he’s getting his license before me. I have to renew my permit in a few weeks. Makes me angry. To make it even worse, my parents won’t let me take my test. So maybe I haven’t driven for 65 hours, but so what? I can drive just fine and they should at least give me a chance. I’m so sick of it. And then everyone always asks me if I can drive yet or when I’m taking my test. Just makes me want to punch everyone in the face. Seriously, this is rediculous. BLAH.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M FEELING.

This is extremely frustrating. I’m so emotional lately. And I’m terrified of, well, we won’t go there.

School isn’t getting any harder but it’s finally getting to me after all these years. I get tests and I shut down. It’s not that I don’t know my material, because I’m pretty sure everyone knows I do. I just get myself into this place filled with anxiety. It’s like every question is screaming - “If you get me wrong you’ll never go to college!” or “Someone’s going to take your spot for the top of the class!”. I freak myself out so much that I just can’t handle classes anymore. They’re not difficult, I just can’t enjoy learning anymore. Is this what preparing for college is supposed to feel like? Because if it is I don’t know how I’m going to make it through Senior Year. 

I get in these happy moods but it only takes a second to smash it. I’m spending a lot more time by myself reading my magazines all day long. BLEH. 

I’m just a mess. I’m distancing myself from everyone and I don’t know how to stop. Help me?

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